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25 Kasım 2004

mutluluk mu?

Mutluluktan bahsetme. Ya siyah ya beyaz cunku. Beyaz ya da siyah. Arada bir ton yok. Kirik beyaz ya da koyu gri yok. Tutarsiz davranislara kararsiz duygular var. Abartmak, uzulmek. �ste benim ozelligim. Durmak hic yok.
Durmak yok kosmak var. Nereye kosuyorum diye sormak, nereye varacagimi bilmek yok. Hiz kaybindan korkmak, dusunce dudaklarla gulmek var. Bir palet kac renk, guldukce aglamak mat mi durur parlak mi, dusunmek yok. Hayal etmek biraz var, ozlemek cok. Belki gitmek ama gel demek hic yok.
Silgi kaybolmus olabilir
yine de bir yerlerde
renkli kalemlerim hala var.

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